Actual Conversation between Tom and I yesterday morning

A bit of background...Tom and I call each other "Stinky." It's a silly little pet name that started when we first started dating. Tom used to give kisses all the way up my arm, much like Pepe Le Pew. So I started calling him "Pepe" and "Stinky" sort of evolved from there...

Sunday night Tom asked me to wake him up on Monday before I left for work so that he could be up in time to make coffee and relax before his dentist appointment...

Sneffi: Good morning Stinky, time to wake up
Tom: Good morning, Bitches
Sneffi: Did you just call me a bitch?
Tom: Yep, you are all bitches
I look around not seeing any one else in our bedroom besides our dog, Stewie.
Sneffi: DO you mean Stewie and I are bitches?
Tom: Yup...(mumble, mumble, mumble) and your crotch* smells like fish
Sneffi: My crotch smells like fish? What the f*** are you talking about?
Tom: Shut up, We are fishing in my dream right now. Let me fish.
Sneffi: We are fishing in your dream right now? Are you dreaming right now?
Tom: yup
Sneffi: That's why you are being an ass. Cause you have no idea what you are saying...
Tom: Yup


He eventually woke up and I didn't mention any of the above conversation until last evening. He laughed hysterically and had no recollection of our bed talk that morning and said I am not a bitch and my crotch doesn't smell like fish. Way too funny...

*He did not say crotch, but something way worse and a word that I refuse to say. Let's just say it is brought to you by the letter "P". Gross!